In 2021 I turned 21, my second birthday in quarantine. Staying indoors has given me plenty of time to think, when even Netflix can't interfere, so I've had a chance to put the things I've learned into order.

From time to time, birthdays also come with an existential micro-crisis that, more often than not, passes as quickly as it comes. Even so, we Gen Zers tend to dramatize things a bit, make jokes like "yes, I have a mid-life crisis", jokes that have two possible consequences: 1) someone explains to us, out of generosity self, that mid-life means "in the middle of life", so we don't own the terms, or 2) another co-generational gets the joke and says "same". I have no idea, I read too much Kierkegaard and Nietzsche on the fly, I listened to too much angry life music when I was in grade school, and that's why we have these pseudo-existentialist moments on the internet.

Anyway, back to the topic: I turned 21 in 2021, my second birthday in quarantine. Staying indoors has given me plenty of time to think, when even Netflix can't interfere, so I've had a chance to put the things I've learned into order.

---

1. You have to be your own best friend. Since you live every second with yourself, it's essential to be there for yourself during difficult times, maybe especially then, instead of self-sabotaging yourself.

2. If you feel bad, it's not because "hey, that's how I feel." Health must be a priority and cannot be postponed.

3. It's okay not to have chemistry with every person you meet.

4. Yes, you can buy your own flowers.

5. Speak up when you think something is wrong. You're often not the only one noticing something shady, but when no one says anything, nothing will change. You'll be surprised how many people will agree with you once you call a spade a spade.

6. Cooking is not a women's or men's job, but an essential survival skill that you must learn.

7. Once you accept that it's okay not to respond to every message right away, you'll find it easier to focus on the things at hand.

8. Saying "no" shows more respect than pretending to say "yes" even though you already clearly know it's not genuine. What's the point of saying you're going to the party if you already have other plans?

9. Nobody cares about that minor mistake you made ten years ago. Actually no; maybe some still care, but that says a lot more about their lack of occupation than your capabilities.

10. There's really no need to buy a plastic bag (or more) absolutely every time you go to the store. Use a bag with bags or one that you can reuse.

11. Criticism is accepted when it comes from people you would ask for feedback on your own initiative. Sometimes that includes people you don't particularly like, but whose expertise helps you grow.

12. Do not push point 11. to an extreme, because you risk developing selective hearing.

13. Just because you're entitled to an opinion doesn't mean you have to have one. If a topic is beyond you, it's more civilized to say that you will express your point of view after you familiarize yourself with the topic.

14. The world will not always agree with you, but that does not automatically mean that the people in question have something against you.

15. My parents are cooler than me. Okay, that might mean nothing to anyone reading this list, but it's among the things I've learned, after all.

16. There are also bad books, just because it's in print doesn't mean it's quality. Conversely, it's also okay to accept that you don't like a certain book because it's not to your taste, without labeling it bad because of that.

17. And adults do plenty of bullying, including young people, it just goes under the radar disguised as "I'm telling you you're not doing anything right for your own good". No, if it was for my own good you could tell me what I did wrong and without making generalizations about my worth as a human being.

18. Sometimes you have to apologize after an argument even if you were right. Apologies are not necessarily contingent on who is right and who is wrong, but rather how the two parties interacted. If the way you participated in the discussion hurt the other person, it may still be worth considering.

19. There is nothing wrong with changing your opinion when new things come to light about the subject.

20. You set (and adjust) the order of your priorities.

21. There are also times (or periods) when you are not happy with yourself. In times like these it's important to remember that it won't always be like this. Depending on what's going on in your life, you either need to wait it out or you're at the starting line to become who you really want to be.