The fact that the introduction of sex education in Romanian schools has been discussed and re-discussed for some time is nothing new. Nor that Romania is on the podium of the number of underage mothers in Europe (source) or that half the population believes that rape can be justified (source) is no longer a secret. Obviously, Romania has a serious problem regarding the way it relates to sex and sexuality. We are talking about a generalized illiteracy in relation to sexual relations, an illiteracy which, among other things, is caused by the lack of sex education in schools. This is in addition to the illiteracy per se that the population of Romania suffers from and over the functional and scientific illiteracy. But we can discuss the effects and consequences of the latter another time.

Fortunately, there are various platforms that try to fill the absence of sex education and bring accessible, reliable and important information to teenagers. Among the organizations that deal with this, among other initiatives and projects, are, for example, Sex vs Stork, Iele-Sanziene, Filia Center and, last but not least, Her Time Romania. I invite you to read the sex education campaign from which this article also starts our Instagram page.

We recently collaborated with GirlUp to organize a webinar dedicated to sex education, broadcast live and on Facebook. I would like to dispel some myths about what sex education means and the questions teenagers have when it comes to sex, as I observed in the webinar discussion.

Myth #1: There is no need for sex education, these things must be discussed with the parents.

First of all: having sex ed at school does not mean that you are no longer allowed to discuss this topic with your parents. On the contrary, it might even encourage such discussions, providing starting points and benchmarks to make this conversation easier.

What's even more important, though, is that teens don't exactly feel comfortable talking about sex with their parents; not only about sex itself, but also about the genitals or the changes that take place in their bodies during puberty. I was asked, during the webinar, what advice I have for parents to become more receptive to such curiosities, what to do if the parents are homophobic and their child is in a homosexual relationship, and even from what age can he goes to the doctor on his own, because it is embarrassing to discuss certain aspects of his face with his parents. In no way do I want to generalize, I am convinced that there are families where communication is open. What I want to emphasize, however:

This communication barrier, when it exists, only limits access to information and keeps young people in the dark.

Moreover, sex education is also necessary when the relationship of teenagers with their parents is a very good one. Why? Because, since the parents didn't have access to sex education either, most probably don't even know how to answer extremely specific questions. For this, a specialist is needed, a person who deals with this and who can speak informedly about sex education.

Myth #2: If we have sex education in schools, children will only want to know about "perverted practices", sexual positions and orgasm.

Let's take things one at a time. Why do we equate orgasm with perversion? Perhaps one of the causes includes the explanations given especially by religion or conservative, "traditional" values, such as that sexual intercourse is for the sole purpose of reproduction. Even so, the reality is that most people (admittedly, I can't cite any sources when I say this, but I'd say it's an educated guess) don't necessarily think about having children when it comes to sex. 

At the webinar, I also had a question session from the audience, and I can say that none of those present asked me anything even slightly indecent, invasive or that could be classified as "perverted". The only question that someone more traditional might tangentially frame would be whether the risks of injury, for example breaking the penis, increase when the two partners do it in a more unusual place or at a spontaneous moment. I took the opportunity to draw attention to the anatomy of the penis (and that it has no bones, something many people don't know) and to say that it's more about technique, so to speak, than the spontaneity of the moment.

Most of the questions were about the menstrual cycle, methods of contraception and details about sexually transmitted infections. Conclusion: Teens take these things seriously if they are given a safe and open space to ask all their questions.

Myth #3: Sex education encourages teenagers to have sex.

Sorry to break the illusion, but the internet is a bottomless sack of "inspiration" on this subject. Adult sites, social media, tabloid news about who has had what breast augmentation (as if it's anyone's business but the person in question) are all sources that could further stimulate interest than sex education classes at school. I'm being subjective, but learning about risks, diseases, blood tests, medical treatments, and pregnancy doesn't necessarily sound like the biggest turn-on for a 15-year-old. Actually, I don't think it's for anyone. On the contrary, studies show that adolescents who have had comprehensive sex education, which is not strictly based on abstinence, tend to start their sex lives later than others (source). But I emphasize something I also said in the webinar: abstinence is definitely the safest method to protect yourself from all of the above. It is the only "contraceptive method", improperly put, that works 100%. Once we have all the information on the table, all the questions clarified and the curiosities under control, it is the decision of each person whether to take these risks or not and at what age. We also learn about chemical reactions with explosives in school, but that doesn't mean I was tempted to order TNT and play with it at home myself.

To sum up everything I said above, we need to understand that the purpose of sex education is not (and never was) to teach young people to have sex. It's about health, about understanding your body better, about relationships, about safety and about making informed and informed decisions. The faster we manage to eliminate the prejudices related to sex education, the easier it will be to repair the dysfunctional relationship that Romania has with this subject.

Do you still have questions, curiosities or concerns related to this topic? You can find me on Instagram: @adinapetrei, where I can answer specific questions. On my profile you will also find the presentation from the webinar, and its summary as a cheat sheet, with the information in brief.